


Peace and Love on the Planet Earth

by NobbinFobbin



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: College, F/M, Fencing, Long-Term Relationship(s), Romance, Slow Burn, Spring Break, Sushi, University, Vacation, relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-16 15:00:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7272829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NobbinFobbin/pseuds/NobbinFobbin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Connie Maheswaran is a brilliant, determined college senior with one eye on the future and the other eye on her cute boyfriend.  She is also a severe workaholic who, between her academics, clubs, career enrichment and occasional Gem duties, has not taken a real vacation since high school...until now. </p>
<p>It should be a pleasant enough trip: sandy beaches, perfect weather, and a wealth of new experiences to be had...but paradise is no stranger to trouble, and Steven and Connie will learn that sometimes, the most dangerous things out there are the secrets you keep from each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sworn to the Sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie stay en garde for trouble. 

_The end of spring semester_  

Steven. 

Hey babe <3 

Greg just texted me your grades. 

...uh oh. 

Steven...what happened?! 

I know, I know, it's bad. It's just that...things 

got hectic with the Gems 

 

And the new Critter Crossing game came out and 

it's SO much fun, you gotta try it 

 

And I promised Ronaldo I'd help him with some projects 

 

Lars was sick for two weeks and I 

covered him at the shop 

 

Guess it all got away from me 

Steven, you failed four of your classes and got a C 

in the fifth! 

My dad never finished college and he turned out okay! 

Your father was a mildly successful musician 

who invested his earnings into a much more successful 

small business. And he would tell you the same thing: 

no matter how much or little school you do, 

you need to do your best at it. I -know- this is 

not your best. 

...are you mad at me? 

No, just...worried about and for you. 

Look, I understand you have a lot on 

your plate, but your schoolwork is important, too. 

You're a Gem, but you're human, too, and you gotta 

take care of that human being.

*sighs* you're right. I can do better. But so can 

you, and I'm not talking about your studies

Steven, I'm fine. Please don't change the subject. 

Yes I will, and no you're not. Every time we SkyeBall 

you look more bloodshot and ragged. I know you're 

doing awesome and you've got SO much you want to do, 

but you can't keep running yourself down like this

I'm at one of the most competitive colleges in 

the country. It comes with the territory

Have you even slept in the last two days?

...no. Totally worth it though. 

But that's not healthy! Connie, you need a 

break. An ACTUAL break. Have you even been 

on a real vacation since high school?

...no. -Still- totally worth it though. 

...okay, I wanna make a bet with you. 

We're both gonna do right by ourselves

Listening

If I make a 4.0 in the fall, we're doing 

spring break together. An actual, proper 

vacation. No schoolwork, no Gem stuff, just...us.

(…) 

...look, you don't have to answer right now. You can say no, too 

(…) 

Yes 

Really? 

Yeah 

Let's do it 

Game on, Steven 

* * *

_The start of spring semester_ _, s_ _even months later_  

The arena lights glared harshly down on the match below. The assembled crowd waited with baited breath; silence rained in the hall save for a long patch in the center, from which emanated the *clink* and *whoosh* of sabres being slapped together in arduous combat. 

Finally, someone was hit.   

"Halt!" cried the first left judge, and an astonished murmur rippled through the crowd. 

The two combatants pulled away from one another and assumed their pre-combat positions. 

“Ready?!” cried the first right judge. 

The combatants brandished their sabres. 

“Fence!” cried the first right judge. The duelists immediately erupted into a flurry of parries. The fencer on the left fought ferociously, attacking with strong, often erratic thrusts, but the fencer on the right was calm and collected, carefully deflecting each attack and not exerting more effort than was absolutely necessary. 

As the point stretched into the twenty second mark, the right-side fencer sidestepped a forward thrust and deftly slid their blade along their opponent’s side. 

 "Halt!" cried the first left judge again. The crowd murmured even louder. The left fencer angrily flicked their blade back and forth as they returned to their spot.  

"Championship point," noted the first left judge. "Ready?!" 

The left fencer's grip tightened angrily, and they audibly grunted their frustration. Their opponent made no such noises, only raised their sabre.  

"Fence!" 

The bout didn't even last three seconds before the right fencer made contact. 

"HALT!" cried the first left judge, no longer able to contain his astonishment. 

"Mein Gott, das war ein fehlerlos Sieg," whispered the second left judge to himself. 

Candice Moore, Stanford's master _sabreuce_ and the left-side duelist, angrily ripped off her mask and tossed it her opponent's feet. "This is bullshit!" she hissed. "I want her tested for PEDs!" 

"Ms. Moore you are out of order," warned the first left judge, but Candice wasn't having it. "She _fucking cheated_!" she screamed, pointing viciously at her opponent. "She wasn't _nearly_ this good in pools or in her previous matches!" 

The right-side fencer removed her mask, revealing the triumphant yet measured face of Connie Maheswaran. "I didn't cheat, Candice. I made a strategic calculation to underplay my talents, and outwitted my opponents by doing so,” explained Connie, her eyes glinting. “But for _you_ , I made an exception." Connie hefted her sabre over her right shoulder, and gave Candice a wry smile. "Talk trash, get smashed," she added with a satisfactory nod.  

" _You fucking little-!_ " Candice snarled, but she didn't get the chance to finish. 

"MS. MOORE," said the first left judge in an icy voice. Candice whipped fearfully around to see the judge holding up a black card. The blood instantly drained from her face. "Sir, please, I was just trying to-" she explained to no avail. 

"Ms. Moore, consider yourself disqualified for unsportsmanlike conduct," stated the judge with a stead cruelty. "We must consult the rulebook and determine whether or not the remaining semifinalists are eligible to duel for your now vacant spot. _Get off our strip,_ " he added with cold fury. 

Candice tried and failed to keep the tears from falling as she dashed off of the dueling ground. A new silence fell over the crowd, who stared awkwardly at Connie, and her anxiety roared to life with a vengeance.  

A stream of chords broke the tension.

[C-C-C-C-Ab-Bb-C-Bb-C] 

Connie knew all too well the "Winning!" theme from the _Last Dream_ series and the ukulele on which it was played.  

She whipped around to see Steven Quartz Universe, a goofy grin plastered across his face, waving excitedly at her from the crowd. People stared at him in indignation, but Connie didn't care; the shock of winning and the stress of undesired attention faded into a familiar, comforting warmth, and her overactive nerves subsided. 

She gave Steven a tentative smile and waved back. 

"Ms. Maheswaran?" called the first right judge from behind her. Connie turned around to face him. "Congratulations, Ms. Maheswaran," said the judge kindly, "on winning the national collegiate championship's sabre division-"  he paused briefly, "-under such interesting circumstances." He turned to the crowd. “Please, everyone, let’s give Ms. Maheswaran our warmest congratulations!” he shouted. The arena responded with polite, appreciative applause. Steven, however, burst into thunderous, enthusiastic applause punctuated by a few whoops and hollers.

Connie bowed to the crowd twice and snuck Steven a grateful wink. She shook the four judges’ hands one-by-one, and gratefully accepted the gold medal they placed around her neck. As the spectators filed out of the arena, Connie began to contemplate the enormity of her achievement. She had won the national fencing title in her senior year, had thoroughly trounced the woman who'd claimed to be her True Rival™ ever since Connie had 1-upped her in freshman year at the Empire City Summer Invitational, and that in all likelihood she had competed in her last fencing match of her collegiate career. It was...bittersweet. 

Any further thoughts Connie might’ve had about what had just transpired were swept away as a burly pair of arms lifted her up into the air and swung her 'round. 

“Connie! You did it!” cried Steven happily. 

“S-Steven!" stammered Connie, as his ukulele case smacked into her arms, “Careful now!” 

“Oh, sorry,” apologized Steven, putting her down and adjusting the case. “I hope I didn’t embarrass you up there,” he added sheepishly. 

Connie smiled sheepishly at him. “Not at all. You wanted to celebrate, and no harm was done.” She blushed. “And…it felt nice. Candice’s outburst was a little unsettling. I'm getting over it, but that made the hurt a little less so.” 

Steven’s eyes twinkled gleefully, and Connie braced herself for the inevitable.  “I guess you could say I-” said Steven, wiggling his eyebrows, “- _lifted_ your spirits?” 

Connie snorted with equal parts appreciation and exasperation. "Never mind that...what are you doing _here_?" 

"I came to support you!" said Steven confusedly. "What, did you think I _wouldn't_ come?" 

"But what about your job? What about school?" asked Connie concernedly. 

"The construction site's been rained out for the last couple days," said Steven with a shrug. "And I brought school with me!" He said, pointing to the ever-present cheeseburger backpack. "I'll find just find someplace with Wi-Fi later." 

 "That's not the point, Steven, and you know it, especially with how your last spring semester went," countered Connie, giving him a look. "Being a Gem is important, but so is being a human being." She absentmindedly stroked his bicep. "I just want you to be able to take care of yourself." She sniffed pointedly. "Speaking of which...did you get your grades from the fall?" 

 "Umm...yes," said Steven, glancing away guiltily. "But we can talk about that later." 

Connie's eyes grew soft and she lovingly held his arm. “Oh, Steven. Even if you didn't do well, I just want to know that you tried your best. That's all I asked for." 

He gave her one of his wonderful, affirming smiles that conveyed his devotion and admiration. “Thanks, Connie. That means a lot to me.”  

Connie's chest burned and she said a silent _thank you_ to the universe for blessing her with dark skin: being with Steven was an exercise in perpetual blushing and at least she had some means of disguising it. 

“Hey, we should go celebrate your win!” offered Steven, unaware of Connie staring dazedly at his face. “How about sushi?” he suggested. 

“Y-yeah, sushi sounds great!” said Connie, recovering. “The team passed by a nice looking place last night…we can go there!” she finished, taking Steven by the hand. 

“What about your gear?” asked Steven. 

Connie looked down at her fencing uniform. “I’ll be okay. I’ve gotten used to walking around all kitted up." She glanced down at her sword and frowned. "I suspect that most respectable dining establishments won't be okay with swords." She looked sheepishly at Steven. "If it's not too much to ask, could I use Lion to store my stuff?" 

"I'm sure he'd love to, but he's not here," replied Steven. 

"Then how did you-?" asked Connie. 

"I flew here!" beamed Steven. 

"But there was no guarantee I'd make nationals and...oh my gosh, plane tickets from Beach City are so expensive!" splutted Connie in disbelief. "You could've saved yourself the money and-" 

"No, Connie," he said conspiratorially; he looked around before bending down to whisper in Connie's ear. "I _flew_ here. Today." 

Connie's gear clattered to the floor as she excitedly grabbed Steven by the forearms. "Oh my gosh, Steven, that's amazing!" she said in hushed tones before furrowing her brown and worriedly rubbing his forearms. "But you must be exhausted-" 

"Eh," shrugged Steven. "I feel fine, honestly. I thought about using Lion, but cross-country travel like that wears him out. It's easier if he travels near Gem sites because he can draw power from the structures, or something like that." He frowned. "Peridot, Pearl and I are still figuring it out. Besides," added Steven, doing a fist pump, "flying is _awesome_." 

Connie grabbed Steven around the waist and stifled a happy sniffle. "I'm so proud of you, Steven."  

Steven lovingly embraced her . "There, there," he said pithily. "I know my awesomeness can be overwhelming at times." 

"Well we'll just have to do dinner, sword and all," said Connie as she went behind the judge's table to retrieve her bag. "But _I'm_ paying," she warned, grabbing Steven by the hand.  

“Okay!” beamed Steven, and he fell in line behind her. “WAIT!” he suddenly shouted, loudly enough that some straggling attendees turned back to see if there was trouble. 

Connie turned around to face her boyfriend, who was grinning hopefully at her. "Champ Walk?" he offered. 

Connie didn't hesitate. " _Hell yeah,_ Champ Walk," she nodded. 

Steven grabbed Connie about the waist and in one fell swoop lifted her onto his shoulders; he slid his ukelele into one and and scooped up her gym bag in the other. He thrust his arms up-and-down, bags and all, and started yelling "Champ! Champ! Champ! Champ!" as he walked out the arena with Connie atop him. 

Connie joined in a moment later, enthusiastically thrusting her sabre into the air.

When Candice Moore caught them crossing the lawn, happy and carefree as can be, she burst into tears again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _The journey of ten thousand words starts with a single letter._  
>  \- Me, 2016 
> 
> Actually, I have no idea at where the final word count will lie. What I **do** know is that this will be the longest fic I've written to date and definitely the one with the most planning and plotting. It will be 12 chapters, 13 at most (probably), the titles will have some correlation to the events in the chapter (mostly), and each title will be taken from a Steven Universe episode (definitely). I hope you all enjoy this fic. It will mostly be fun and fluff, but there's also secrets and angst and things get a little dark at points. 
> 
> ...but also: smut. There will be smut. I thought about sticking all the good stuff in the tags, whet people's appetites, but...you know what? You'll just have to wait and find out (but I WILL update the tags and rating when it becomes relevant...but that's _waaaaaaay_ down the line).
> 
> To any amateur/pro fencers reading this, if I messed up terms or descriptions of things then please let me know so I can fix it: I am not an expert in that sort of thing.


	2. Fusion Cuisine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie try something new.

"Careful, we're going down," warned Steven as he stepped off of the curb to cross the street.

Connie squinted at the fork ahead. Red City was old, one of the oldest in the country, and as such was a mishmash of modern-day architecture carefully squeezed along the centuries-old, winding layout of the original city. "I think we're supposed to go left? Or was it right...shoot, I can't remember," she said, frowning.

"Do you have your phone?" asked Steven.

"No, it's in my bag," said Connie, shaking her head. "Besides, where would I make it fit?" she said, waving her left hand down the front of her suit.

"Hold on...well, hang on. Seriously, hang on," said Steven, and Connie's legs locked in as Steven carefully squatted and set her bag down long enough to retrieve his phone from his pocket. "Got it!" he said triumphantly. "What's the name of the place?"

"Just Boogle 'nearby sushi places.' I think it begins with 'W.'"  

Steven picked up the bag and started typing. "Ah, there we go," he said satisfactorily. "Left."

They made their way into a side street narrow enough for only one car.

"So how'd the rest of the team do?" asked Steven, consulting his phone for their next move.

"Not great, to be honest," said Connie, wincing. 

"What happened?" prompted Steven. 

"Margaret placed fourth in foil," she explained, "but she's lucky she didn't place lower. The twins managed to win doubles, but both sides were extremely sloppy. Jeremy and Jahns took shockingly early exits in épée; they're devastated. Donny placed sixth in sabre, and I placed first." 

"I didn't see them at the match," Steven noted carefully. 

"I gave them the option not to come, and coach let it go. Captain's perogative," said Connie, twisting her fingers in Steven's hair. "Despite absolutely thrashing that woman, I was actually really nervous about this match and didn't want the extra pressure of their presence. Besides, I'd've kinda been rubbing it in their faces given how easily I won, and I didn't want to make them feel bad. We'll probably have a small room party or something later tonight. You wanna come?" she added hopefully. 

"I'd love to, but Lapis asked me to come to the Colony. It sounded important, though she wouldn't say for sure," confessed Steven sadly. "I need to take off after dinner." 

"Alright," said Connie, leaning forward to kiss Steven on the forehead. "Hey, you okay down there? Champ Walk has clearly been satisfied. You can let me down if you want."

"If it's okay with you...I like having you on my shoulders," said Steven, blushing. "I like being able to support you like this."

"Well how's a girl supposed to respond to that?" said Connie bashfully, gently rubbing the top of his right earlobe.

It took another ten minutes to make it to the sushi bar, and Connie stayed atop Steven the entire time.  

* * *

"Easy now," said Steven as he knelt down to let his girlfriend off his back.

Connie stared at the establishment and immediately questioned her decision.

The restaurant's exterior was not nearly as nice-looking as she remembered it from the previous evening. The navy blue wash of evening, coupled with some clever lighting choices, had really oversold the building's façade. Instead of the rich, red-brown brick that characterized much of the city, the bar's stones were covered in a taupe, beige-ish color. The windows could definitely do with some cleaning, and there was a spidery crack in the left-hand corner of the one furthest down. 

"This is...charming, I guess?" offered Connie unconvincingly. 

"It'll be an adventure!" said Steven boldly as he pushed open the door. 

As they stepped inside Connie's alarm bells went into overdrive. She instantly took note of the large number of empty tables ( _it was 6:00pm, the restaurant should be bustling_ ), at least two cooks operating without hairnets ( _surely that's a health violation!_ ) and, after a quick glance at the menu board, questionable pricing schemata for every item on the menu ( _what are these people thinking?_ ). But Steven, wide-eyed and excited, seemed fascinated by the owner's vintage, framed Cookie Cat t-shirt collection, license plate display, and classic pop music selection.  

A bored, plain-looking server of indiscernible gender shuffled up to them. "Welcome to Weast, where east meets west in fine dining style. How many in your party?" 

"Uh...two," said Connie. 

"Right this way," said the server, leading them towards a (mostly) clean-looking table. As the couple sat down, the server handed them two dinner menus and a happy hour leaflet. 

"Sake's half-off until nine," they sighed before shuffling back to the front of house. Connie opened the menu, made it halfway down, and drew back in horror.  

"What... _are_ these rolls?" she gasped. "Macaroni and tuna? Linguini with diced shrimp?!" 

"I want the beef stroganoff one!" Said Steven excitedly, pointing to one that replaced the rice with egg noodles and the fish with beef.  

Connie looked pleadingly at Steven. 

"It'll be an adventuuuuure," he prodded hopefully. 

In the end, Connie splurged for ten rolls, including one of the stroganoffs (which was as weird as one would expect a beef stroganoff sushi roll to be) and a linguini (which, surprisingly, was elegantly rolled and presented). As expected, Steven pulled a twenty from his pocket and Connie firmly yet lovingly pushed his hand away. Not even his powerful puppy dog eyes could sway her from her previous promise. 

"I said I was paying, and that's that," she said, ending any further debate on the matter. 

Steven dug vigorously into his food. Connie hesitantly picked up a slice, examined it carefully, popped it into her mouth and swallowed. After 30 seconds in which she did _not_ have a violent, gastronomical reaction, she decided it was probably safe to eat the rest.  

She graciously let Steven get into his third sashimi roll before popping the question. 

"So," she began casually, taking a slow bite out of her tuna roll, "about your grades..." 

Steven stopped mid-mouthful, sighed, reached into his back pocket, and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "Fine, here you go," he said as he passed it to Connie, who unfolded it. 

"Steven..." she said as her eyes sped down the page in jubilant surprise, "you got 4.0 for the semester! That's fantastic!" Her eyes grew even wider at the third line. "This...this is a course on advanced astrophysics," she said wondrously. "I recognize the course name! I remember reading that _your_ school poached one of _my_ school's top professors..." 

Steven shrugged. "It was getting difficult to work with Peridot and Pearl when they kept throwing all these weird terms around. I figured I should, you know, get on their level." 

"You could go to school full time, you know, if you stay focused like this," chimed Connie, though she knew how the conversation would go. "You're smarter than you give yourself credit for. You're passionate and principled and driven and always believe in people, even after they disappoint you. The world could use more people like that." 

Steven turned red and looked away. "Oh gosh, Connie, don't say that," he mumbled. "I just...I wanna keep things simple. Keep my time available for the Gems and..." He trailed off. 

"Steven?" asked Connie hesitantly. 

He gave his head a little shake. "Nothin," he said, quickly putting a sly look on his face. "Nothin more important than _spring break_ _vacation_ ," he grinned wickedly. 

Connie face went cold as ice. _Oh my god, the_ _bet_ _. I completely forgot about it._ _But, I have so much to do..._  

Steven flinched. "I mean, if you're _really,_ really busy we don't have to do it. I shouldn't have to make bets to do wel-" 

Connie realized that panic must be plastered across her face; she gave herself a little shake and took Steven by the hand again. " _No_ _._ I mean...no, I made you a promise," she said firmly. "And I want us to keep our promises to one another." She smiled. "You'll get your spring break, mister." She slumped back in her chair. "I just...have a _lot_ to do between now and then." 

"Do you have any requests?" said Steven expectantly. 

"Uh..." said Connie, dumbfounded. _Honestly, actual vacation time never factored into my four-year academic plan,_ she thought wistfully. "I dunno...surprise me!" she blurted out before she could catch herself. 

Steven went starry-eyed. "This. Is. Gonna. Be. _Awesome,"_ he whispered reverently, pumping his fist in triumph _._ He eyed her suspiciously. "And it's _totally_ gonna be a _seeeeecret_ _."_  

Connie popped two tuna rolls in her mouth and prayed she hadn't just made a colossal mistake. 

* * *

They held hands on the subway ride to Connie's hotel, their fingers gently drawing lines against the palms of each other's hands. The rush of competition still swirled in her blood, and every movement of Steven's hands was amplified ten-fold. As they clambered up the steps and emerged onto the glowing street, Connie pointed off her to left. "It's over this way," she proclaimed. "Come on!" she said, breaking off into a sprint and pulled Steven along with her. 

"How much longer are you in town for?" asked Steven breathlessly. "Gonna do any sightseeing before you leave?" 

"No," said Connie, panting sadly. "I mean, this is a historically rich city and there's _so_ much to see, but I've got too much work to do. I'll be spending tomorrow deep in my books before getting on the plane back to school." 

"Aw," said Steven disappointingly. 

Two minutes later, they found themselves in front of a modestly-sized but stunning hotel. Steven caught his breath and peered into the lobby, making note of the wood paneling, hardwood floors, rich upholstery on the lounge furniture, and fancily-engraved elevator doors.  

"Nice digs," said Steven with an impressed whistle. 

"Coach Wills has been stingy our last few trips, so this time we convinced her to splurge. Turned out pretty well, I think," she said, giving Steven a satisfied smile. 

"Heh," chuckled Steven. "Beats the Keystone Motel for sure. Cable sucked. Ruby kinda melted the pool. And the beds were hard." He glanced up towards the upper floors. "Bet your beds are way softer." 

Later, Connie would decide that it was the lingering adrenaline of the match, the joy of having Steven unexpectedly show up and sheer stupidity on her part that made her utter her next sentence. 

"You should come up, see for yourself," she said slowly. 

Steven whipped his gaze from the hotel lobby to Connie's face; his astounded face turned redder by the second. 

Connie's brain scrambled for an apology or clarification. _It was just an invitation to objective assessment, a honest and reasonable comparative survey of competing hospitality establishments_...

...but no. Her words were deliberate and weighty and finished with a sensual ambiguity that brooked no room for alternate interpretation. 

"I-I..." stammered Steven, "I-I probably shouldn't. I-I mean, you've got all that work-"  

"R-right," reminded Connie, trying desperately to save face, "and you've got to go to the Colony."  

Steven gently laid Connie's bag at her feet. "Well I...I guess I'm off," he stuttered, giving her the briefest peck on the cheek and fumbling with his ukelele straps.  He stalked off towards a nearby alley, but only made it about ten feet away before he stopped and turned back to face Connie. 

"Steven," she asked, "what's wro-?" 

"If you really want me to stay," he said quietly, "I will." 

It was a moment of unguarded wanting, something they rarely indulged in together. 

Connie opened her mouth, ready to seize this opportunity of uncharacteristic impulsiveness, when a familiar ringtone erupted from beneath her. 

"Oh shoot, it's my parents!" swore Connie as she dove into her gym bag. "I promised to call them after the match and totally forgot!" she cringed. 

The spell was broken. "You...better take that," said Steven dazedly. 

 _I'm sorry,_ _we'll talk later_ , she mouthed as she pressed a thumb to her phone. "Hello? Mom?" 

Steven smiled and gave her a little wave; Connie waved back and pressed her phone more firmly to her ear. "Yeah, yeah, everything was great!" She picked up her bag and blade. "No, I've not had anything to drink, not that it's any of your business," she added, a slight edge to her voice. 

Steven watched her travel through the lobby; he waited 'til she entered the elevator and its brass doors slid shut.

He took a deep breath and double-checked his ukelele was securely against his back.  Then he closed his eyes and remembered how it felt when Connie's sabre made its winning mark a few hours back. 

Steven shot into the air fast as a firework.

* * *

As Steven and Lapis Lazuli stepped off the warp pad, he had to stop and catch his breath.

No matter how many times he saw it, the Colony still took his breath away.

Built within an ancient caldera and shielded from the prying eyes of humanity, the Colony had become the new home for a legion of Gems fleeing the shattered remains of Homeworld - not the planet, still orbiting its cold star billions of miles away, but the institution, which had fractured into a dozen battling entities following the fall of the Diamond Authority. 

The main atrium was covered with an iridescent glass floor from which rainbow-colored spires, elegantly crafted from crystal and stone, rose triumphantly towards the sky. Gems of all shapes and sizes walked, slid and floated throughout the growing metropolis. A few aerial vehicles whizzed about the area, but stayed below the crater's edge.

As Steven and Lapis headed into one of the side tunnels he counted at least six new holes in the outer edges of the caldera, and remarked as such to Lapis.

"Yeah, well, we just keep multiplying like rabbits," said Lapis dryly as she and Steven walked into the shadowed opening. "We had two more ships arrive today. One of them nearly crashed into a populated area.  **That** was a fun retrieval," she added sarcastically.

"I mean, where else are they supposed to go?" said Steven. "Homeworld's a mess right now...and it's kinda our fault."

As they moved deeper into the tunnels, their gems automatically glowed to compensate for the dimming light.

"It's  **all** our fault," said Lapis, snorting. "Honestly, Steven, what did you expect? We defeat Yellow Diamond and all of a sudden the Gems stop being bloodthirsty, imperialistic jerks? **I** told you, Peridot told you, Jasper told you, the Gems told you-"

"I chose to believe otherwise! Is that so wrong?" he said defensively. "If I could make friends with you, Peridot and Jas-"

"Steven, that's not even-!" Lapis sighed and burrowed her brow irritably. "We're not going to rehash this argument again of why the situations are **completely** different."

"We're rehashing a different argument, then?" he quipped with a knowing glance.

"Yes," said Lapis bluntly before glancing up and down the tunnel. "I think we're in the clear," she murmured quietly.

"So what couldn't you talk about over the phone?" asked Steven in a hushed voice.

"Someone tried to hack the vault," said Lapis darkly. "And they nearly succeeded."

"...oh," said Steven flatly.

"And seeing as you, me and Peridot are supposed to be the only ones who know about it - though that's clearly not the case any more - we are the ones who have to take care of it. She grasped Steven's arms. "Steven, we have to move it."

"This is the best place, the safest place..." he said, clenching his fists.

"Steven,  **we can't keep it here!** " she hissed. "There are too many people we don't know, too many people we can't trust! Surely this is proof of that!"

"We can't keep it at the Temple! Putting something that powerful inside the Temple could be...problematic." He pointed a finger at Lapis. "And you-"

"- **should have more faith in people,** " finished Lapis sardonically. She took a deep breath, even though she didn't need to. "I'm...I'm sorry, Steven, but this thing is a  **little** too dangerous for us to play into blind optimism."

She turned on her heels and spread her wings.

"You can't always put your problems in a bubble and wish them away," she said as she flew back towards the atrium.

* * *

Steven sat in the dirt and contemplated his position.

Was he wrong not to worry? Was he wrong not to be distrustful?

He rubbed his knuckles intensely.

 _I choose to believe. I choose to see the good._ That is what he did, that is who he was.  _That's what mom would've wanted._

Then again, Rose Quartz had her secrets too. And while his father and the Crystal Gems had done their best to present Rose as a loving, compassionate mother, Steven knew that war changed people, revealed things...unpleasant things about people. It had changed _him_ , though not in the ways he thought mattered most. Not yet.

_No, not yet. **Never.**_

Still, perhaps it was time to let the Crystal Gems know the truth - he owed them that. And maybe he'd try and visit the Colony more often, just to keep an eye on things.

_But what about your trip with Connie? What if something happens and you can't get here fast enough? What if-_

And that was when Steven remembered where the Colony was...or rather, what was just a couple hundred miles away.

" _Vacation spot_ ," he said excitedly, and he sprinted back towards the Atrium.

It was time to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connie is enrolled in a traditional, four-year university while Steven is enrolled in a (mostly) online associate's degree program (an accredited arm of an existing, well-established university; Connie wouldn't have it any other way). That education route makes way more sense given who Steven is and his lifestyle of fighting inorganic humanoid beings from outer space. 
> 
> Originally I was only going to make vague references to the Colony and what it was throughout the fic, but then I realized something as I was editing this chapter for submission: if Steven's involvement with the Colony is one of the sources of narrative conflict and tension, then obscuring it from the reader _makes not a goddamn lick of sense_ (also this chapter was a little too short before so *shrugs*)
> 
> What "it" is will become clear in due time, and by due time I mean at the very end of the fic. Or maybe before, timeline's fluid. But I promise that Steven has good reason for keeping it a secret.
> 
> I _still_ don't know where the hell my idea for beef stroganoff sushi came from, but wow I have some messed up culinary sensibilities, right?


	3. Cheeseburger Backpack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie make preparations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up: this chapter includes academic anxiety and a frank discussion of sexual experiences.

A few hours of aerial reconnaissance and one warp pad later, Steven sat atop his bed at the house. He scrolled through his contact list until he found Kalia's cell number, pressed his thumb to the phone's glass screen and raised it to his ear.

She picked up in two rings. "This is Kalia Kalani, Head Ranger. How can I assi-?"

"Hey, Kalia!" said Steven. "I-I don't know if you remember me, but-"

"Steven?" came the surprised reply. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's m-!"

" _Steven!_ " Kalia said excitedly. "It's so good to hear from you! Oh my gosh, how've you been?"

"Uh...pretty good, I guess."  _Liar_. "How about you?"

"Same old, same old, but you probably knew that." Steven could hear her grinning through the phone. "The sun is shining, the ocean's clear, the air smells fresher than a- oh, sorry, I'm rambling again," she finished abashedly.

"No, no, it's okay!" said Steven, chuckling. "If I worked where you worked, I'd be gushing too." He paused. "Listen, I wanted to ask you a f-"

"When are you coming?" asked Kalia , cutting him off.

"Uh, mid-March, probably the sixtee-"

"Bringing anyone?" she continued.

"Connie."

" _Oooooo_ ," she said conspiratorially, and Steven blushed. "Pick any room in town. I'll have it taken care of for you, no charge," said Kalia firmly.

"Actually," began Steven, "I'm not interested in a hotel - but _maybe_ I'll take a room on standby, just in case."

"What did you have in mind?" she asked curiously.

Steven pulled the phone from his ear, went to his photos app and texted two pictures to Kalia.

"...I see," came her inquisitive reply.

"I mean, if it's not too much to ask," qualified Steven. "I just figured since it was your neck of the wo-"

"I'll make this happen," she said, cutting him off. "It's outside normal bounds, but boundaries mean nothing to the head ranger," she added smugly. "Well, they  _do_ mean something, but...oh, never mind," she said with a frustrated sigh. "Totally lost control of that one."

"Thank you, Kalia," said Steven gratefully. "I really appreciate it."

"I have to say, kid, as far as IOU's go this is definitely one of the smarter ones people have gotten off of me," she confessed. 

"You don't _have_ to do this," said Steven seriously.

"Yes, I do," she replied gravely. "You saved my life - I've got the scars to prove it - and I said I owed you one. I'm  _gonna_ make good on that." Steven heard typing in the background. "Once I get things set up, I'll send you a text."

"Great," said Steven.

"You need anything else, you call me," she added kindly. Steven heard a door, then muffled sounds as Kalia pulled the phone away from her mouth. "Sorry, Steven: gotta go," she said upon returning.

"No problem! And thanks again!" said Steven thankfully.

Steven ended the call, set his phone down next to him, and took a deep breath.

The _easy_ conversation was over.

The  _hard_ one had yet to take place.

He descended the loft steps and stood in front of the Temple door. "I'm calling an emergency family meeting," he said to the door. "Tell everyone to meet me here at seven."

All the lights on the Temple door flared briefly before winking out again.

Steven walked back up to the loft, lay back down on the bed, and started to think of what he was going to say. 

* * *

Whatever joy Steven had gleaned from his conversation with Kalia disappeared with each new word that sprung from his mouth. His brain raced frantically from point to point, trying desperately to justify, what was surely in the Gems' eyes, the inexcusable. 

Pearl's eyes were wide and glassy. Amethyst's face was locked in a dumbfounded, hurt expression. Jasper and Garnet's faces remained stoic, expressionless. 

Steven's throat felt like the inside of stale bread: dry and easily cracked. He tried swallowing but barely got anything for his efforts. 

He'd dressed up for the occasion, and that was a huge mistake. His button up felt tight around his neck, and no way was he gonna get the armpit stains out of it; the dress pants should've been replaced long ago; he'd worn the wrong shoes-

_Focus. Keep going. You made the right call. Just finish this out._

Finally, mercifully, he reached the end of his tale, his shaky voice trailing off into nothing.

He surveyed his partners-in-crime. Lapis looked worried but resolute. Peridot, on the other hand, had retreated guiltily behind her arms, quickly stealing glances at everyone in the room.

Pearl broke the silence.

"You did **W H A T**?" she yelled angrily.

Lapis moved beside Steven and laid a reassuring hand on his back. "He did what he thought was right, Pearl."

"What he thought was  **right**?" sputtered Pearl. "The  **right** thing to do would've been to vaporize **every last** -"

"Dude," interrupted Amethyst, her voice low and pained, "how **could** you...how could you... **why**?" she demanded.

Steven swallowed. "It wasn't right," he said slowly. "Despite everything that happened, it wasn't the right call to make. We're better than that.  _I'm_ better than that," he said firmly.

"After all these years, after **everything** we've been through...and **you**!" shouted Pearl, rounding on Garnet, "How did you not see this coming?!"

"The battle was over, our enemies defeated, the war won," said Garnet in a sharp voice. "Do you know how tiring it was to always have my eyes on the future, to try and predict **every single** tactical decision Homeworld might've made, to try and plan around it?" Garnet made a fist. "We were  **tired** , Pearl! We were tired of always living in the future, **always** living in the **future**! I wanted to celebrate the  **present** for once, just... **be**. I trusted Steven to do the right thing," she added, staring him straight in the eye. "He didn't, and...and that disappoints me."

Steven flinched, but didn't break his gaze. "No, Garnet: you asked me to do the  _smart_ thing. Not the right thing. Killing isn't right, no matter what someone has done."

" **No matter what someone has do** -" screeched Pearl incredulously. "I could be here till the **heat death of the universe** listing all the reasons why you'd be justified in destroying those shards!" 

"And what about all the shattered Gems that sided with us during the war?" said Garnet quietly. "What about all the Gems discarded, mistreated and forgotten during Homeworld's reign? They deserved justice, and you've denied them that."

"It seems I  **was** mistaken, calling you Rose for all those years," snorted Jasper. "Rose would not have suffered her enemies to live in such a way."

"Then you know  _nothing_ about my mom," growled Steven, his hands shaking.

"Oh, I knew her  **far**  better than you ever did. Never forget that, **S t e v e n** ," snarled Jasper.

Steven's fists clenched, and he took two steps towards Jasper.

That was it for Garnet. 

"THAT'S **ENOUGH**!" she yelled, startling the assembled Gems. She stood up and took a deep breath, and continued in a much lower voice. "What's done is done. What matters **now** is how we proceed." She looked hard at Steven. "What's our play?"

"M-me? You're asking me?" squeaked Steven.

" **You** made the choice," said Garnet sternly. "Now **you** decide the consequences."

"I-I-" Steven balled his fists again. "I think it should stay in the Colony, for now, until we can build something better to hold it," stammered Steven, thinking as fast as he could. "But m-maybe build it with human technology? Peridot noticed that it does weird stuff to Gem tech, so we - _I -_ tried to isolate it as much as possible. That's why I didn't bring it to the Temple: too much power here, too dangerous."

"Fair enough," said Garnet simply.

"I'm planning to take Connie out that way in a couple months, for spring break," continued Steven. "If everything's ready by then, I can drop by and help you move the shards."

"I think you've done  **quite** enough in that respect," glared Pearl. "The rest of us can han-"

"-no, you can't," interrupted Steven firmly. "Literally. Anyone but me touches it, it'll warp away."

The Gems all stared at Steven, who stared right back at them.

"Sometimes, it's funny who you do or don't believe in, Steven," said Garnet softly.

Steven's heart wrenched, but he remained outwardly resolute. "That's the way it is, take it or leave it."

" **Fine** ," said Garnet gratingly. "Peridot, Pearl, you two will take point on containment," she determined. "Jasper, Amethyst, I need you two to come up with a security plan and screening process for the Colony. If someone knows about the shards, then I doubt they'll stop at just hacking the vault. Lapis, I want you on scouting duty. Find us someplace sturdy to house the shards. If it  _has_ to be an old Gem structure, make sure the place is dead: remove any and all power sources you can find. We can always put different ones in later."

Everyone but Lapis and Peridot headed for the Temple door. One by one they walked through, until only Garnet remained.

"I hope we don't come to regret this, Steven," murmured Garnet as she disappeared into the dark red light of her room.

Steven let out a shaky breath and collapsed on his butt; Lapis immediately knelt down beside him. Peridot, now considerably less terrified than earlier, scooted off the couch and walked over to them.

"Are you gonna be okay, Steven?" asked Peridot timidly.

"Yeah, yeah, I think so. I mean-" he sighed heavily. "I'm glad it's finally out. It's been hell keeping this a secret." He stifled a sniffle and looked at his co-conspirators. "And I must've put you two through an awful lot as well. If I've put you on the outs with the others-"

"Well, we know you, Steven," said Lapis, smiling. "No sense in browbeating you about listening to your heart instead of your head - it was never gonna work."

"Thanks, Lapis, for your support," said Steven dryly.

Lapis giggled. "You're welcome."

Peridot moved forward like she wanted to give Steven a hug, but instead lightly patted him on the forehead (something she rarely got to do unaided). She then headed towards the front door but suddenly froze in place.

"Something wrong?" asked Steven. 

"Steven, this vacation of yours," began Peridot, slowly turning around. "Will there be any sort of camping excursions involved?"

"Actually, yeah, that's the plan," began Steven, "but-"

"Say no more!" yelled Peridot, triumphantly raising a fist. "I will devise for you the most masterful, portable, outdoor recreational equipment this planet has ever seen!" She lowered her fist. "Oh, and do you have any color preferences?"

"Uhhh-" stuttered Steven.

"Perfect!" said Peridot, and she dashed out the front door, gleefully rubbing her hands together.

* * *

_Two months later_

Connie sprung up from her desk and, in a panicked state, blurted out some choice curse words before realizing that she was _not_ , in fact, being squeezed to death by the mechanized stacks of the college library. 

She blinked blearily at her laptop screen, which was _way_ to bright for this hour of the night, frankly. One side of the display held a twelve-page, comparative analysis of classic Sanskrit and Benghali texts in _desperate_ need of editing; the other side showed her email inbox, with seven, bolded new messages resting in the upper third of the page.

As Connie scanned the subject lines, two caught her attention, and her eyes widened in horror.

Her last two law school notices had arrived. 

She nervously moved her cursor to the first email. It came from Johnard University, one of the so-called Magnificent 7: the seven law schools from which all presidents in the last 150 years had graduated. If you wanted to sit in the Oval, you wanted in on those schools. Connie had applied to all seven, and one-by-one the rejection notices had trickled in. 

This was it.

Her presidential aspirations hung in the balance of this email's contents.

*click*

 

Johnard University School of Law

1585 Basschut Ave

Red City, BA

 

 

Dear, Ms. Maheswaran,

 

We regret to inform you that we cannot offer you admission to the- 

 

Connie felt cold, numbing, emptiness.

That was it. She'd missed her shot at the presidency.

She scrolled down a few more lines, deciding to skip the faux-apologetic nonsense that accompanied these notices, and hoped there'd be a scrap, a hint as to why she'd been passed over when there so many reasons for her to be chosen (like they'd put those in a form letter).

What she _did_ find was almost equally depressing. 

 

However, you have been placed on the wait list pending confirmation or refusal of admissions offers from other

students. We thank you for submitting your application and hope to be in touch with you in the near future.

 

That would be wonderful, except there was no guarantee that  _her_ name would be pulled from the wait list. Johnard was notorious for selecting its wait list students at random, and she was sure the list would be  _quite_ extensive.

She clicked back into her inbox. The second email seemed to mock her, and she almost didn't click on it: DU had a second-rate law school that she'd only applied to at Coach Wills' urging (probably because Wills had friends high up in admin).

But it had to be done, so she clicked.

 

Delmarva University School of Law

222 Link Lane

Charm City, DA

 

 

Dear, Ms. Maheswaran,

 

We are pleased to offer you admission to the Delmarva University School of Law Class of 2029.

It is our vision and intent to provide you with a rigorous, three-year course of study that will prepare you for a successful career in-

 

She slammed her laptop shut in disgust and laid her fist against her mouth in frustration.

 _Here lies Connie Maheswaran_ , she thought: _defender of the Earth, championship fencer, student representative, immaculate student, tireless volunteer, and apparently a chump who could only get into a low-tier law school!_

She rolled dazedly away from the desk.  _How could this have happened? What went wrong...what did I_   _do wrong?!_

She closed her eyes and forced herself to breathe deeply.  _Think, Connie. **Think.** The Plan might be shot, and we have to accept that...so what are you gonna do next?_

Her cell phone vibrated angrily atop her desk. She'd have ignored it (and possibly thrown it across the room) had she not spotted Steven's name on the caller ID. She soberly took the call.

"Hi Steven," she answered. "I'm sorry, now's not a good time-" 

"It's kinda important. Promise I'll make it quick," insisted Steven. 

Connie heard a growl in the background. "Is Lion with you?" 

"Yeah, that's...are you okay? You sound...low. I mean, emotionally low," he said worriedly.

"Yeah, yeah, just, I think I'm coming down with something," sniffled Connie. "I'll take a bunch of vitamin C. I'll be good for the trip."

"Speaking of which..." said Steven sheepishly. "I think Lion wants to come along. It's why I called, actually." 

"How do you know Lion wants to come?" asked Connie perplexedly. 

"He keeps bringing me maps from the tourist office," he added with an audible wince. "And whenever I'm doing research at home, he just sits there looking expectantly at me. Would you be okay with him tagging along?" 

"Of course, Steven," said Connie reassuringly. 

"A shame we can't get him on the plane-"

An angry Lion growl rang in Connie's ear.

"Well I can't buy you a seat _now_ , that's way too expensive!" said Steven.

An angrier growl.

"What, like we were gonna ride on you instead?"

A happy growl.

"...oh. Wait, I thought you didn't like the long teleports?"

Noncommittal snort. 

"Well, I _guess_ we could do that. It's a bit late to change our plans, but...okay. Hey Connie?" said Steven bemusedly. "I think I found us a quicker ride."

"What about the tickets you bought?" said Connie concernedly. "Wait...you  _did_ buy plane tickets, right?"

"No," said Steven casually. "Onion did. Well, it was  _my_ money, but he made some calls, got a really good deal on them. I  _think_ they're refundable?" he ended quizzically.

"Call him and find out," said Connie insistently.

"Hey, if they are refundable, that gives me  _way_  more money for souvenirs!" he said gleefully.

"More souvenirs sounds perfect," smiled Connie.

_Tell him._

Her smile quickly faded. "Listen, Steven...I have to go. I've got a lot of work I need to finish before we leave." 

"Alright, I'll let you be. See you in a couple days. Love you, " he added softly. 

"Love you too," she murmured before hanging up the phone.

* * *

It was departure day, and Steven was feelin' himself.

"Cheeseburger backpack, cheeseburger backpack..." chanted Steven as he deftly stuffed some bug repellent into said bag. He gave the whole thing an experimental heft and, satisfied that it wasn't overloaded, set it down on the bed next to the hot dog duffel bag, which was _extremely_ overloaded. 

The really interesting stuff - Peridot's equipment, all of it was dyed with her signature lime-green - stood on the ground floor.

First, she built an expansive popup tent (or as Peridot called it, an automated housing shelter). Steven figured that it was about the size of Connie's dorm room. 

Second, she constructed a chest-height, battery-operated combination freezer/fridge, incredibly light and power efficient. Steven stocked it with as many goodies as he could fit.

Lastly, she created seven, large-sized lime green boxes that, when arranged, self-assembled into a "hygiene, waste management and recycling system."  

Three guess what _those_  cubes did. 

"Cheeseburger ba- oh no!" he yelled as he suddenly remembered an item of critical importance. He flipped over the side of the loft and ran towards the house fridge. In his rush, he knocked over two of the bathroom boxes and accidentally bumped something on Peridot's portable fridge; the fridge blared a fanfare and projected a hologram of the Milky Way onto the ceiling. 

" _Digestion Acceleration Aid #1: A Brief History of Homeworld,"_ came Peridot's voice from the fridge. _"Homeworld_ _began_ _as a-"_  

"Gah!" yelled Steven in surprise. "Turn off, please!"  

The hologram disappeared and Peridot's voice fritzed out. Steven wiped his brow and sighed. After the blowup several months past, any mention of Homeworld was a sore subject for all the Crystal Gems. 

Jasper, who was sitting on the couch and looking incredulously at a copy of _Flex_ , turned her gaze towards Steven. "A little history would do you good, Steven, since you seem to have forgotten so much of it," she snorted as Steven made a beeline for the kitchen freezer. "Back for yet another meal?" She added derisively as Steven opened the ice box. 

"Yes and no," Steven countered as he retrieved a box of Lion Lickers. "These will, I hope, go into my stomach at some point...but not right now." He patted his pudge. "I had three hamburgers and a giant salad for lunch, remember? I'm still pretty full to be honest."

Jasper rolled her eyes and turned back to her magazine. "Thank goodness for this trip. I'll be spared your whining about the lack of food, an irony given how you are responsible for most of the deficit."

"Sometimes my appetite surprises even me," said Steven with a sniff. "I reserve the right to make my displeasure known."

"Nine Earth cycles and I **still** don't understand you," growled Jasper.

"...doesn't mean you shouldn't keep trying," he responded softly, closing the freezer.

Jasper sighed, put down the magazine and rose from the couch. "Steven," she said, approaching him. Steven turned to face her. "That was...unkind of me," she continued, "as was the remark I made about you...and Rose...during your confession. That apology is long overdue." 

Steven flushed a little but remained silent. Jasper took this as a sign to continue, and laid a hand on Steven's shoulder. "I still may not 'get' you, but I will keep trying. After all, I'm stuck with you forever."

Steven sniffed and wrapped his arms around Jasper. "I dunno about 'forever' but...thank you. And...I forgive you."

Jasper flushed and pushed him away with a grunt. "Again with the hugging..."

" _You know you love meeeee_ ," sang Steven knowingly.

"Away, runt," she snapped, but couldn't keep an affectionate grin off her face. 

The ice cream started to drip in his hands, so he quickly threw it in the travel freezer and trotted back to the edge of his room.

Unfortunately for Steven, he vaulted himself back up  _right_ as Pearl emerged from the Temple door. 

"Steven!" cried Pearl alarmedly. "How many times have I told you to use the stairs?! And no," she said as Steven opened his mouth, "being 24 years old does not make it permissible to engage in reckless, unsafe behavior-!" 

"Not this nonsense again, Pearl," seethed Jasper. "We Quartzes are far tougher than you ever give us credit for. I don't know why you worry about Steven so much," she finished dismissively.  

Pearl's nostrils flared. "You've only been here for nine years! I've been here since before Steven was born! Even though he's half-Gem his human components can still take serious damage from fa-!"

"He can regenerate those bits too, right?" countered Jasper breezily. "I don't see what the problem is here, Pearl." 

"NOW SEE HERE!" shouted Pearl, "I-"

The two got into it, and Steven realized he'd be wise to back away. "I'm gonna finish packing," he said gingerly as he backed up the stairs into the loft.

Neither Jasper nor Pearl really took notice.

Steven went to the nearest wall brace and pressed his palm against a green panel (also courtesy of Peridot, though built long before now). A pink wall of energy sprung across the open space; Jasper and Pearl vanished from sight, and their voices faded into nothingness. 

He looked down at his watch and realized that he still had several hours to go before his scheduled pickup time with Connie. He took the opportunity to nap for a couple hours. Once he woke from slumber, he turned on his media machine and played several episodes of  _Camp Pining Hearts_ season 4 (the show's peak, in his humble opinion). 

He made it halfway through "What Makes the Heart Grow Fonder" and yelling frustratedly at Cindy for not confessing her feelings to Sally (as if he hadn't seen this episode ten times before) when his phone buzzed; it was a text from his dad.

 

Hey, I came to say goodbye...can you come down? 

 

Steven got up from bed and stepped through the wall to find his father - and all the Gems - standing by the living room table. 

"Hey guys!" he said, surprised. "What's everyone doing here?" 

"We're here to see you off, Steven," explained Garnet warmly. 

"Yeah, have fun with Connie!" said Amethyst excitedly. "But don't forget about-"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," said Steven, subtly jerking his head towards his dad. Amethyst gave Steven a silent nod. 

Pearl bounced on the balls of her feet. "Please, be safe," she said nervously. "Come back in one piece." 

Steven turned to Jasper, who grunted noncommittally. 

"Come on, Jasper," said Garnet, giving her a gentle nudge. 

"Fine _._ Bye, Steven," Jasper grunted. 

Garnet stared disappointedly at the Quartz, but Jasper gave the team leader a look that screamed "try me," and neither Gem said anything further. 

"The refrigeration unit is only rated for approximately 35 lbs of your Earth food. Please try not to abuse its limits by 'loading up' whilst on vacation," said Peridot, sniffing. 

"I think we're way past that," confessed Steven sheepishly. "Turns out Connie had a _lot_ of food requests..." 

"What?!" yelled Peridot. "Steven, I **need** you to emp-" 

Lapis clamped a hand over Peridot's mouth. "You still need me for the thing?" asked Lapis boredly. 

"Yeah, if you're oka-" 

"Great," she said. "I'll see you then." She released Peridot's maw and walked towards the warp pad.

Peridot sputtered angrily at her. "That was unquestionably ru-!" 

"I'm off to the Colony," said Lapis. "Are you coming or not, Norman Osborn?" 

" **Stop calling me that!** " shouted Peridot, who scrambled over to the pad just in time to vanish with Lapis in a dazzling flash. 

"The rest of us should get going," said Garnet, nodding towards the warp pad.

As the Gems walked to the warp pad, Garnet gave Steven a grave nod, and Steven nodded back. "Good luck, guys," he said soberly as the Gems departed. 

Greg finally walked over to his son and looked up at him. "So...you giving Amethyst the silent signal...oh yeah, I caught that," he said as Steven flushed. "Everyone seeming more ominous and mysterious than usual..." He nodded his head towards the warp pad. "Somethin' goin' on that I should know about?" 

Steven fidgeted. "I-I can't say anything," he stammered. "It's...complicated." 

Greg touched Steven's arm. "You know you can tell me when bad stuff happens, right? You don't have to protect me. Besides, I'm part of this whether you like it or not." 

"I know," said Steven, grabbing his dad's forearm. "It's just, well-" he sighed. "Maybe when I get back, I'll tell you." He smiled. "Let's just say Connie's not the only one who needs a vacation." 

Greg gave Steven a bear hug (well, as big a hug as one could give when one's son was taller and beefier than you). "Have fun, son. Be safe, and-" Greg flushed. "Be... _safe_." 

Steven went scarlet. " _Daaaaaaad_ ," he whined. "We don't...that's not something we..." He went even redder. "Why are we talking about my sex life?" he squeaked.

"Hey now! I remember how I felt at that age, and just because you _know_ the right thing to do doesn't mean you _want_ to," explained Greg. "Though I'm not gonna lie: I kinda want grandkids, but not unless you two want-"

Steven (respectfully) grabbed his dad by the arm, brought him to the front door, and threw it open. "THANKSDADBYE!" he yelled, unable to look his father in the eye. 

Greg sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry, son, I didn't mean to embarrass you. Just tryin' to be a good parent, that's all."  

"I know, dad," said Steven, trying futilely to control his blush. "It's just-" 

"- _incredibly_ awkward," finished Greg, looking down at his toes. "'Tis the way of all parent-child sex talks. Most of 'em anyway." 

Lion, who had been lounging on the front porch, took this opportunity to squeeze past Greg into the house, and settled down in front of Peridot's gear. 

Greg started down the stairs. "Have a great time, son," he said, giving Steven a little wave as he descended. "And don't forget the sunscreen? You burn easier than you like to admit." 

"I do not," Steven muttered under his breath, but he waved back at his father and watched as Greg got into his van and drove away.

Steven turn back to survey the room: his supplies, his gear, his transport (currently playing with the throw rug) - everything was in order. 

"I'm ready," he nodded sagely.

* * *

"Oh my god, I'm not ready," muttered Connie as she paced the room in a suppressed state of panic. 

Steven had given her no hints as to where they'd go or what they'd be doing.

 _"Surprise me"_ rang mockingly in Connie's ears.

"Shut it, you," she snapped at her subconscious.

Naturally, having no idea what to expect, Connie had planned for everything.  _Everything_.  

One suitcase held cold weather items. One suitcase was bursting with temperate to tropical-suitable clothing. One suitcase held medical supplies and inclement weather gear. One suitcase was devoted to extreme sports gear: helmets, climbing robes, kneepads and the like. And the last suitcase...well, Connie wasn't _entirely_ sure what was in that one: she'd just thrown everything else she might've possibly needed into that one, and didn't keep a fair accounting of all (the suitcase still closed, though, and that was the most important thing of all).  

And of course there was the backpack with her laptop and a copy of that anthology of _Badass Queens Through the Centuries_ she'd wanted to read and a couple new poli sci books and- 

Connie forced herself to stop. "Breathe, Connie. _Breathe_ ," she said, slowly inhaling and exhaling.

Someone knocked on the bathroom door. "Come in!" responded Connie.

Denise, Connie's rooming buddy of four years, stepped into the dorm and looked knowingly at her friend's mass of luggage. "Damn, girl. If you grab a wrench from maintenance, I think you could take the bathroom sink with you too."

"But I don't know what's going to happen!" said Connie breathlessly, rounding on Denise. "What if we're going rock climbing, or skiing? What if he's taking me on a safari excursion-" 

"On a construction worker's salary? " interrupted Denise pointedly. " _Highly_ unlikely."

" _What if_ _we go into outer space?!_ " shrieked Connie. "I haven't prepared for that!" she realized. 

"Outer space? Hon, I think that's a reach," said Denise pityingly. 

Connie opened her mouth to counter that _yes_ , she _had_ gone into outer space before and it was an  _amazing_ experience-

But then she remembered that _most_  human beings don't go into space without millions of dollars in explosive, highly-engineered hardware and that revealing Steven's secrets to Denise was _maybe_ not the best idea.

"Yeah, you're right," she said weakly. "We probably won't go into outer space."

Denise rolled her eyes, grabbed Connie's hand, pulled her down to the floor.

"Here," said Denise, grabbing the nearest suitcase and unzipping it. "Dump everything out."

"Everything?" said Connie fearfully.

" _Everything_ ," insisted Denise as she turned the suitcase over. "We're gonna do this the Scouting way: take only the bare essentials."

"Thank goodness I vacuumed yesterday," muttered Connie as her travel bras tumbled onto the carpet.

"Focus, child," said Denise, gently smacking Connie on the back of the head. Connie yelped and glared at her but Denise was unfazed: she was a woman on a mission.

After a minute or so of unzipping and emptying, a gigantic pile of clothes, accessories, tools and assorted items lay scattered on the floor. Denise moved ruthlessly through the mess, rejecting things left and right. A yellow dress made it into the "keep" pile, as did four undershirts, and  _only_  four ("turn them inside out, you baby" countered Denise over Connie's protests). Denise had to concede three pairs of jeans _and_ shorts; that was non-negotiable. 

 _She has a good eye_ , Connie grudgingly admitted to herself as the "keep" pile started to take shape.  _I think she's making good choices. I still feel like I should have more stuff, though..._

Denise grabbed a purple and black star field t-shirt, and Connie shouted "Wait! Steven really likes that shirt! I've gotta take it!"

Denise eyed it suspiciously. "I'm 90% sure that wherever he's taking you is gonna be warm and sunny, probably mid-70s to 80s. Black is a bad idea." But she unfurled the shirt to examine it. "You could use it as a night shirt," she said, scrunching her face in consideration. "Temps will probably be low enough for it then." Denise grinned lecherously at Connie. "And it's admittedly apropos. The way he looks at you, you'll be seeing stars _aaaaall_ week..."

"Deniiiiiiiise," warned Connie.

"Speaking of which," said Denise, her eyes narrowing slightly. "I noticed a conspicuous lack of condoms in your packing list."

Connie pointed at her pelvis. "IUD, baby free," she responded.

"Safer sex prevents a mess," Denise shot back. "Two control methods are better than one."

Connie looked awkwardly to the side. "Besides, I won't need 'em," she murmured flatly.

"Did I not just say-?"

"No, Denise," said Connie, louder and more intently. "I won't need them."

"Oh-? ... _oh_ ," said Denise, her eyes widening with understanding. "I'm sorry, I always just assumed you two were-"

"And made an ass outta you and me?" quipped Connie, smiling.

"Okay, I deserved that one," chuckled Denise.

Connie fiddled with her toes, still unable to look Denise right in the the eye. "It's not that...gosh, I can't talk about this!" she said incredulously.

"You had a comprehensive sex education from a physician-parent. That's a fuckin' Golden Ticket to sex-positive communication if I ever heard of one," said Denise incredulously.

Connie gave her a withering stare. "Yes, the same parent who insisted that I keep my door open whenever Steven came over. Even progressive moms have their limits."

" _Can_ we talk about it, though?" Denise asked seriously. "I mean, I know you like keep your business close to the chest, but if there's any way I can help..."

"I- no, no, go ahead," said Connie. "I'll stop things if I feel uncomfortable."

She took a moment to gather her thoughts. 

"It's not a question of wanting...the want is _definitely_  there...but Steven, I think he processes physical desire differently. It took him a long while to get used to it, to be okay with it. I think he's _still_ getting used to it in some ways," Connie admitted. "We've only really become 'sexually active' within the last two years of our relationship. And we've never really figured out how to talk to each other about that stuff, it just kinda...happens. We muddle through it."

Come to think of it, Connie realized, she'd never considered how being half-Gem affected Steven's actualization of sexual relationships. Sure, the Gems experienced _eros_ ; Garnet, Steven himself and Stevonnie were proof of that. But Gems used a rather unique form of asexual reproduction to propagate the species. Strictly from an evolutionary standpoint, sexual desire didn't need to be built or programmed into them. Maybe he'd inherited that as part of his creation?

"I think we both worry - but him especially - that adding more physical intimacy will negatively impact our emotional relationship." Connie unconsciously pulled her hair. "Neither of us wants that."

"Valid concerns there," said Denise, tapping her cheek in thought. "I think we'll take inventory next. Since you became sexually active, however you define that, what has that entailed, exactly?"

"Mostly kissing, heavy petting above the waist, butt grabbing, things like that. Sometimes we take our shirts off, kiss each other's chests." Connie flushed. "It feels nice."

"Have you ever been fully naked in front of one another?"

"Not really?" said Connie hesitantly. "I mean, we've showered together a couple of times but-" Her body scrunched. "I keep my eyes above the waist."

Denise looked sharply at her. "Girl, you peeped dat ass, admit it."

"Gods, yes," Connie said, facepalming in defeat. " _And_ w _hat an ass._ "

"I mean, I'm 100% gay but can confirm. _Damn_. But you haven't seen his-"

"No," said Connie, growing even hotter, "and even if I had, I don't think Steven would appreciate me discussing his penis  _in abstentia_."

"Fair enough," conceded Denise. "Any genital-to-genital contact?"

"No."

"Oral-genital contact?"

"No."

"Handsies?" asked Denise hopefully.

Connie's head rose up. "He's put a hand there a couple times. I think I was too nervous to get off." She couldn't stop the worst of the blush, nor the smile from erupting on her face. "But it still felt  _amazing_."

"Any attempts at intercourse?" concluded Denise. Connie gave her a skeptical look, and Denise shrugged. "You'd be surprised how many people skip the soup and salad and head straight for an entrée."

"No," said Connie, regaining some of her composure. "We...we tried scheduling it a couple times. The first time my fencing competition ran long and I was too exhausted at the end of the day. The second time he got called in to work." _And by "work" I mean saving the Earth through interplanetary warfare_ , she thought. "We stopped trying after that."

"Hmm," said Denise, taking a moment to process things. "Hmm...alright, got it!" Her eyes brightened. "In my unprofessional yet highly sex-educated opinion..."

She laid a hand on Connie's shoulder.

" _Talk to your boy._ Well, man. Well, whatever: gender's overrated," she said with a dismissive wave. "You don't ask, you don't get. Tell him what you want, how to give it to you, and figure out what you're both comfortable with. You wanna get got, I'm sure he'll give it to ya," she grinned. "I'm not saying he has to dive right in _the_ _deep end_ but just, you know...you two could stand to wade a little farther out from the shallows, that's all. So relax, girl, communicate, and you'll be fine," Denise smiled.

"...was 'the deep end' some oblique reference to anal?" asked Connie darkly. "Because if so-"

"God, no!" said Denise, raising her hands defensively. "That's like taking an 8-hr lab course without having had basic orgo. Baby steps." Denise snorted. "It's funny, now that I think about it, cuz you all's genitalia combo makes ba-"

" _I-U-D_ ," said Connie, punctuating each letter with a jab at her uterus. 

"No funny bone in you, what a shame," said Denise, shaking her head. "You know, you should take the Lemin with you," she added, ignoring the shocked look on Connie's face. "If you're not going to use it by yourself, as I'd intended, you can use it with him." Her eyes widened. "Maybe even use it  _on_ him. You both might have performance anxiety and vibrators can _really_ make a diff-"

Connie sputtered angrily, but Denise was ready with the finger point. "Hey hey hey, don't give me that bullshit," she said, her voice growing heated. "$130 sex toys are meant to be utilitarian, not gag gift showpieces. And just so you know, _Ms. Moxy Wand_ , your current toys are not as quiet as you think they are."

"Oh my god, kill me now," wailed Connie, her body filling with mortification.

"Not before we get you laid," said Denise insistently, turning her attention back to the pile. "Now come on, let's finish sorting through the rest of your crap. We're gonna get you down to two suitcases max."

* * *

In the end, Denise was as good as her word. Five suitcases and a backpack became two suitcases and a backpack. Connie's supplies included a shirt-a-day with two extras just in case, three each of shorts and jeans, two-day undershirts and two-day intimates, two nice dresses, two pairs of shoes, a pair of sandals and shower slippers, socks, swimwear, toiletries, towels, electronics, books, a light, waterproof jacket, and a small umbrella.

"Told you I'd do it," said Denise smugly.

"Wow," said Connie, a little dazed. "You really pulled through."

"Hold on, got one more thing," muttered Denise, and raced through the bathroom back to her room, and came back with a box of condoms.

"Denise-" began Connie.

"I don' business," said Denise, pressing them into Connie's hand. "It's called 'being prepared' and all that shit." 

"Why do _you_ need condoms anyway?" asked Connie incredulously as she stuffed them into her backpack.

"Some lesbians like toys, some lesbians have dicks, and they're cheaper than buying dental dams," said Denise matter-of-factly. "Some pink tax bullshit that is," she huffed.  

Denise's phone chirped. She pulled it from her pocket and glanced at the screen. "Speaking of pink, Erin's here." Connie could see the heat rise in Denise's cheeks. "I'm...I'm proposing to her tonight."

"Oh my gosh, why didn't you tell me?!" said Connie, excitedly throwing her arms around Denise.

"Because you're a big softie who crumbles when she interrogates you," said Denise sarcastically. "Of  _course_ I'm going to tell you my proposal timeline."

"Tell me _all_ about it when I get back," said Connie as she pulled away. 

"For the future POTUS? Anything," replied Denise. Connie flinched, and Denise was taken aback. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no, just some trip anxiety coming back," said Connie, deflecting as quickly as she could. "Thank you for the sex talk," she added softly. "And the packing. That too."

"Love you, gal. Have fun," said Denise, giving Connie one last kiss on the forehead. She looked towards the door, then turned back and fixed Connie with a stern eye. "And for God's sake, make sure he eats you out for at _least_ ten minutes before he gives you the D." 

" _Oh my g_ _od_ _, Denise_ _!_ " shouted Connie as the heat beneath her skin returned with a vengeance, but Denise just laughed as she floated out of the door.

Connie fiddled around on her laptop for another half hour, responding to emails and submitting her comparative essay before she finally picked up the phone and texted Steven. 

 

Hey, sorry I'm running behind!

I'm finally ready. Come and get me

Is Denise there?

No, she left a half-hour ago

Great! Well, not really, but I don't think

she's ready for Lion. Where should I aim for?

Top of my bed, please

Stand clear...

 

A glowing pink circle appeared above Connie's bed, and seconds later Steven and Lion stepped through it. The bed creaked and the mattress sank several inches, but the frame held as it usually did. 

"I'm _so_ glad you're graduating this year," said Steven as he climbed off his pet. "I always thought Lion would end up breaking the beds at this school." 

Connie went for a hug, but Steven swept her up into his arms and spun her around; Connie giggled, and after about three seconds Steven set her down again. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers before putting their foreheads together.

"Hey," he said softly. 

"Hey yourself," she replied, silently commanding the butterflies in her groin to kindly _shut the hell up_. 

Steven looked over at the two suitcases. "Wow, you packed light," said Steven appreciatively. "I figured you'd go all out, seeing as I really didn't tell you anything about where we were going." He looked apologetically at her. "In retrospect, I  _probably_ should have said something helpful yet nonspecific. Sorry about that."

"And spoil the surprise? After you made all that effort? Heavens, no!" said Connie.

"Fair enough," he grinned. "Lion, you ready?"

Lion gave Steven a withering look, snorted disappointedly, and clambered off the bed to sit by the luggage. Steven deftly lifted each bag up and set it atop Lion's mane; the bags sank slowly into the thick hair.

"Anything else?" asked Steven. 

"No, that's it," she said confidently. 

" _Aaaaalriiiiight_ ," said Steven as he climbed atop Lion. He held out his hand. "Would the lady like the front seat or the back?" 

"Front seat, definitely," said Connie. She took Steven's hand and climbed atop Lion. Steven's arms slid on either side of her waist and his hands took hold of Lion's fur.

Lion yelped. "Ooo, my bad buddy," apologized Steven, and he loosened his grip a little.

Lion growled affirmatively.

"Onward!" commanded Steven.  

Connie closed her eyes and kept them closed as a portal flashed open directly in front of them. "We're not going to outer space, are we?" 

"We're not going to outer space," chuckled Steven. 

Lion growled loudly and leapt forward. Connie braced herself as the light enveloped their bodies. She felt her body squeeze but not squeeze, felt the heat and pull of teleportation and then- 

They'd arrived. 

The air felt warm and somewhat damp. It tasted of salt and smelt of greenery. There was a strange but familiar rushing in her ears. 

Connie opened her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's funny...I planned this as a relatively light piece (filth aside), but as I started writing, the story became more complex and less fluffy than I'd imagined. I don't intend to shy away from the less-than-perfect aspects of Steven and Connie's lives and personalities (like them hiding Big Stuff™ from one another), but neither do I want to drown the fic in them: a little goes a long way. 
> 
> Of course, the fic's evolution had some unforeseen consequences. I wrote drafts of the first four chapters well before uploading "Sworn to the Sword" to AO3. _After_ I posted, though, is when I realized that the Colony needed more background, and then I needed a better transition from chapter two into chapter three, and then, and then, and then I'd rewritten the whole goddamn chapter and it ended up WAY longer than intended - so the moral of the story is DON'T BE A PROACTIVE WRITER it will just bite you in the ass.
> 
> Connie's law school predicament is somewhat contrived but not _wholly_ impossible; it's a highly competitive process. She could always take a year off and re-apply next cycle, but Connie has a Plan, and this is not part of the Plan. I'm interested in how, as someone who is clearly a success-driven person, Connie might respond to a big setback like this. 
> 
> I gave her the sex talk because she's the more mature person of the two and I needed a place to expodump their current intimacy level while having it seem _somewhat_ natural. Steven _is_ sex-educated and experiences sexual desire, but I like to think that, at least in the Peaceverse, it's heavily shaped by being half-Gem and the (relatively) non-sexual romantic relationships he witnesses amongst the Gems. 
> 
> The Lemin and Moxy Wand are references to the Minna Limon and the Doxy Wand, both highly well-reviewed sex toys.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been a Connverse shipper for a while, but haven't had an interest in writing fic for it until I got the idea for a spring break vacation - it's horribly clichéd, I know, but I think I can turn it into something meaningful, honest and memorable for these characters. A billion shoutouts to all the fantastic fan artists who have directly or indirectly fueled my imagination in the plotting and writing of this fic: your work is superb and you deserve all the praise for it.
> 
> ALSO because I am an insecure and needy writer any comments, whether encouragement or critique, are greatly appreciated (if you're gonna critique, give me something specific to work with instead of just "OMG UR FIC SUXS!")


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